Maybe It Was a Mistake

>> Thursday, January 8, 2009

I have my regular OB appt, and scheduled sono. We’re excited and nervous. Both Shawn and I are thinking, the baby’s stomach will be down, and everything will be just fine. We tell the sono tech that we know there’s something wrong with one of the babies, but we didn’t want to tell her exactly what it was, b/c we wanted to see if she could see it. Right away, she sees the birth defect. Oh, we were so hoping that she would be okay. Again, she shows us the difference between the other twin, who is now confirmed to be a girl. Anyway, I begin to cry. We meet with my OB after the sono, and we have so many questions. Questions, that can’t be answered right now. I just can’t stop crying. I’m so heart broken, and sad. We asked her out of all the CDH babies she’s seen diagnosed, how many survived. Her words, “not many”. I know she’s just trying to be truthful. Which I truly appreciate. I really do. I just wish the truth could have been better. So, now we wait. January 21, 2009 is our next appointment with the high risk OB to confirm the diagnosis and talk about next steps. I’m anxious, nervous and ready to get this ball rolling and discover all we need to, in order to save this sweet baby’s life. Through every single step of this short journey so far, Shawn has been nothing but a champion to me. We hug and cry to each other often. We are going to get through this battle together, just like all our other battles we’ve been faced with. He told me that if I ever need time alone, to just let him know. I don’t want to go through any of this without him by my side. He’s so strong emotionally, and without him, I am weak. He’s my strength! Matthew 19:26 “Jesus looked at them and said, “with man, this is impossible, but with God, all things are possible”.


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